An Open Letter to the Bankers

For those who take things in the internet literally, this is intended to be a parody.  Its a joke. 

This is for the Occupunks

This is my post in defiance of the un-American and un-fun movement called Occupy Wall Street.

Seriously, what do these people want?  I mean, this is America, the country where you are free to speak your mind (provided it is not between the hours of 10PM and 6AM, and done with out those unsafe structures called “tents.”) where there is a free press (that is for profit, which of course is their right, even though it does not technically make it free, but who cares commies) and you have the option of becoming whatever you want to be.  If you want to be a smelly hippie who like getting his head bashed in by the police, then you can.  Welcome to the constitution baby.

Hey if they don’t like it here , then they should move to France where they make men dress like women and women dress like 12 year old boys.  It’s the law, look it up!

            By the way,  Jesus died for America, so therefore it is our divine right given to us by God Almighty to allow certain people to get really rich while everyone else has to struggle for survival.  That’s God’s evolution, and if they don’t like it then they are going to hell.  It is in the Bible, somewhere.  Oh yeah, and they should take a shower. No one likes the way people smell, we prefer to smell chemical soaps and deodorants manufactured by God-Fearing, Jesus approved Corporations, you know the job creators.  Corporations give you both a job, and a smell free environment.  Who cares if the chemicals in the products might cause cancer, or the plastics contribute to global warming?  Do they think we are going to live forever?  You think the dinosaurs thought to themselves, “hey we should stop, you know, doing dinosaur things because we might go extinct?”  No, they kept working their jobs until the comet smashed into them and they went extinct.  That’s what Jesus wanted.  So I say, shut up and keep consuming, and don’t question the financial industry, like a good Christian dinosaur would do!

An I wish they would stop whining about police brutality.  Don’t they understand that the police have invested untold millions of citizen’s tax dollars in high tech riot armor and weaponry?  That’s my tax dollars, and I expect them to be used!  What were they going to do, leave them in the armory and negotiate with smelly hippies?  That would be a waste of valuable tax resources.  Better to use them against defenseless protesters than go to waste.  After all, we won’t be able to use them when we go extinct.  Just ask the dinosaurs. They used their body armor and claws and teeth right until the end! 

Work is Freedom.  If I were the mayor of New York, I would herd those Occupunks on train cars, and ship them off to a place where that motto is taken seriously.  A place where they can be reeducated on the divine plan which enthrones the few to rule the many.    A true workers paradise.